A queer faltering is surrounding me. I do not know why I feel this bizarre. I do not understand why I am not willing for this hot season to end. It is as if I have a fear….a massive fear for my returning back again and I must keep myself quiet again and witness only.
There are only two days left and in me, there exists an outlandish sorrow (perhaps a wavering) which sings to me “I shall remember that I am alone…The Moon is shining on top of solitude.” It says to me that I am going back and there wouldn’t exist a fearless you….no echo of laughing on starry flat and plane nights and from you and the friends who speak in a different language.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Hence, there would be no black-tress girl warming up her coffee and sing to you the life chant aloud and call you a lunatic. Or, there would be no innocent boy and his insane questions to put a smile on your face even if it was the saddest day of my dark year. And he will not be to glimpse everybody reversely on the wet grasses of this land. (Perhaps it is possible to see people “themselves” in this way.) Alas, there would be no dancer with her nice thick hair to smile for me and she would not say how she loves to eat pickles with a straw. Or….Why does it matter anyway?? Is everything going to go back? I know all of this hot season was merely a way for me to recognize there is an alternative way of living….One must shut umbrellas….One must look differently to things…. One must walk in the rain…Oh rain…I strongly desire a deep rain, the smell of a wet soil and a depressing day of my life!
I must get ready for a trip….I must go ahead and get prepared for a hard journey where it shall rain very much and the sun…from time to time appears in the sky. I wish I could tell for all of these happy and smiley people around me, that I shall cry a heartrending tear and I shall miss them .Especially, for the enlightened girl and the dreamer boy of my pleasant days.
In the end….Thanks for your valuable gift which made me fearless again.